Monday, October 7, 2013

One of the most difficult days... {Hawaii Foster Parent Blog}

on this day, one of the most difficult days i will face, i am removing all fear, and i am breathing Him in.

You can't see it from where you're sitting, but my heart is broken. There is an ache I have never felt before.

We said  goodbye to our foster son of 4 years.

The "you can't save them all " pill Is really hard to swallow. But in order for me to continue in this journey of foster care, I need to believe that the unconditional love I gave him for the first four years of his life will make a difference one day.

We begin a journey of healing.


50 comments:

  1. oh my friend... how my heart aches for you... and for everything you and your beautiful family are enduring. bless you and prayers for you on your journey of healing. HIS plan is great... greater than any of us can imagine... and in the end... it will all make sense. big hugs.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mahalo Twiggee78! thanks for reminding me that His plan is great...its so hard to remember sometimes.

      Delete


    2. Greetings to everyone reading this comment!!!

      I am Greg William by name. I am out here to recommend the effort of Mark Oscar,I was in need of a consolidation loan amount of 50,000 and as soon as I got in contact with Mark Oscar Loan Firm on Wednesday last week and on Friday last week as well I receive an alert from my bank(Royal Bank of Scotland Group) that the fund was transferred,I want everybody on this site to contact Mark Oscar now via email on how to get a loan because I got my loan from them and I am very happy,so contact them now.

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    3. Hello everyone my name is Anna Barger,am here to testify how i was scammed by various loan lender from this very site.I was in need of a loan,and i applied from various loan lenders from this very site.They asked me to pay some amount of money at different basis but i never get my loan.This was how i lost the sum of 5000USD .I was now in debt because i borrowed the money from a friend.One day a friend of mine introduce me to Elvin Morrison.He told me how he has helped him with loan at several cases without any delay.I was scared and never believe him.He urge me to trust him,this was how i as introduce to him through his email {elvinloancompany@yahoo.com}.He told me he will offer me the loan that i only need to be comply with them.I did as he told me and without any delay,i received my loan as he earlier promise.
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    4. My name is Andy James currently living in california USA Am message this letter because am really grateful for what Elvin Morrison did for me and my family when I thought there was no hope he came and make a way for me and my family by lending us loan at a very low interest rate of 2%. I never thought that there are still God sent and genuine loan lenders on the web but to my greatest surprise i got my loan without wasting much time so if you are out there looking for a loan of any amount i would like to recommend you to Elvin Morrison the Managing director of Elvin Loan Company because he is a God sent man that can change your life forever, So if you really want to make a better life without any fund scarcity I would advise you to get in touch with him through this e-mail below {elvinloancompany@yahoo.com }.

      Delete
  2. Sending hugs and love. My heart is broken for all of you. Know that we are holding you in ou hearts.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mahalo Denise and Family! we feel your love all the way over here!

      Delete
  3. I am PRAYING!!! No words........but GOD. We will continue to lift your family up to HIM!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Prayer is all we need. Thank you friend.

      Delete


    2. Greetings to everyone reading this comment!!!

      I am Greg William by name. I am out here to recommend the effort of Mark Oscar,I was in need of a consolidation loan amount of 50,000 and as soon as I got in contact with Mark Oscar Loan Firm on Wednesday last week and on Friday last week as well I receive an alert from my bank(Royal Bank of Scotland Group) that the fund was transferred,I want everybody on this site to contact Mark Oscar now via email on how to get a loan because I got my loan from them and I am very happy,so contact them now.

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      Thanks!!!!!!

      Delete
    3. Hello everyone my name is Anna Barger,am here to testify how i was scammed by various loan lender from this very site.I was in need of a loan,and i applied from various loan lenders from this very site.They asked me to pay some amount of money at different basis but i never get my loan.This was how i lost the sum of 5000USD .I was now in debt because i borrowed the money from a friend.One day a friend of mine introduce me to Elvin Morrison.He told me how he has helped him with loan at several cases without any delay.I was scared and never believe him.He urge me to trust him,this was how i as introduce to him through his email {elvinloancompany@yahoo.com}.He told me he will offer me the loan that i only need to be comply with them.I did as he told me and without any delay,i received my loan as he earlier promise.
      Am here to tell you that most of the loan lenders in this site are scammers. If you truly need a genuine loan please meet Elvin Morrison through his email elvinloancompany@yahoo.com.He is a registered reliable loan lender.

      Delete
  4. I am so sorry. My heart and prayers are with you.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I hate when people tell me that 'His plans are bigger than ours' but that's exactly what I'll tell you because I have experienced it 1st hand. God has Baby J in the palm of His hand. He loves him MORE than you could...EVER!! Praying for your mama's heart to find peace in letting him go. Praying for that sweet baby to transition to his new surroundings. xoxox

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha i hate when i HAVE to tell my friends that too! but its so true. thank you so much for your friendship. day by day it will get easier, right?

      Delete
  6. 4 years... How could they do that to him? the system is so broken. I am so sorry. Prayers for him tonight and for you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. very broken. and everyone wants to blame everyone...no responsibility. Thank you for your prayers!

      Delete
  7. I always have people tell me that they can't foster because they couldn't send the children back. I tell them that I don't do it for me, I do it for the children. The children deserve to know stability and love even if it is not forever. You have given him that. Praying for your healing heart.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. he did deserve it. and i'd endure the heartache again just to love him. i know he will carry that love with him forever.

      Delete
  8. There is no doubt in my mind you changed his life. I only had savannah for 16 months and she is a changed little girl because of it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thats what i hope and pray for. that he remembers all the good.

      Delete
  9. The grief of foster parents is very real & just as gut-wrenching as any loss. Allow yourself to grieve. Four years is a long time to be a parent of a child. Lifting you up in prayer that your Heavenly Father wraps His arms around you and comforts you through this.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thanks for lifting us up always! this have definitely been one of the most trying times in our family.

      Delete
  10. This is very belated comment...sorry...and I'm very sorry that you had to let him go..very sad.

    ReplyDelete

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