Wednesday, October 16, 2013

it's been a week since...

It's been a week since baby j left us.

our family escaped reality and hid at a resort for a few days. it was just what we needed. what i didnt need was to come back to reality.

i miss him. i do. but my heartache doesn't come so much from missing him, it comes from not knowing if he's safe, loved, and fed.

my friends son goes to the same school as him. i asked her to spy on him for me today, just to tell me he's ok.

he didnt show up this morning, which brought all kinds of fears in my mind.

it's very hard to let go. it's very hard to not feel responsible.

Monday, October 7, 2013

One of the most difficult days... {Hawaii Foster Parent Blog}

on this day, one of the most difficult days i will face, i am removing all fear, and i am breathing Him in.

You can't see it from where you're sitting, but my heart is broken. There is an ache I have never felt before.

We said  goodbye to our foster son of 4 years.

The "you can't save them all " pill Is really hard to swallow. But in order for me to continue in this journey of foster care, I need to believe that the unconditional love I gave him for the first four years of his life will make a difference one day.

We begin a journey of healing.