Wednesday, February 6, 2013

i liked foster care...



i liked foster care better when Baby J didnt know what was going on. now's he's 3.5 years and knows exactly whats going on. it sucks.

3.5 years into this case and not a single thing has changed.

it seems every week his birthmother is looking for a reason to destroy us. yes, destroy. this week she believes he is not being fed. she believes he is malnourished. after his doctor didnt entertain her accusations, she switched physicians. luckily, CPS ordered it back to the old one.

this week Baby J will be subjected to test after test to PROVE that he is malnourished. bone scans, blood tests, kidney and thyroid checks...it was enough to make me cry last night. i am incredibly sad for him. i am sad that i can't help him. i'm sad that i can't stop people from torturing him. what kind of protector am i. i'm not. i am no one. legally i am have NO say. and when this physician is done, she will select a different physician for a second opinion. she has already stated her intentions.

because she thinks he's not fat enough she sends him home with stuff like this after every visit -
     *2 Chocolate puddings
     *1 Chocolate cake
     *4 Chocolate cupcakes
     *1 Thomas Gummy Candy
     *1 Jello
     *1 left over Burger King kids meal
     *1 Flavored Water
     *1 Chocolate Milk
     *1 Pack Sour Candy
     *1 Pack Arare
     *1 Fruit Roll Up

and i'm the bad one...

28 comments:

  1. Ugh. Oh gosh I'm so sorry for what you have to go through... it definitely can't be easy. :( But you are an amazing woman for going through what you do so you can help the kiddies. I respect foster mothers so much. You're wonderful.

    Tracy

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    1. Thank you so much Tracy! we all have our calling and i couldn't so my job without people like you!

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  2. This makes me mad for him and for you!! :( I'm sorry!

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    1. Its ok! thanks for being mad with me!

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  3. Oh this is so sad and I feel badly for both of you. I wish it would be over and he is with all of you forever...

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    1. Thanks so much for your thoughts Renie

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  4. Oh this is so sad and I feel badly for both of you. I wish it would be over and he is with all of you forever...

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  5. Oh this is so sad and I feel badly for both of you. I wish it would be over and he is with all of you forever...

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  6. I am just in shock here. I was rereading some of your past posts. What is your caseworker like? Does he/she not care at all? 3.5 years for one so young is enough to terminate in my state based on time alone. I was praying for you all after reading this. I will keep it up.

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    1. mandy - the rule is SUPPOSED to be 18 months in this state. this state is so determined to reunify - even at the cost of the child!
      it seems like NO ONE PERSON involved cares...there is absolutely no urgency.

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  7. I'm so sorry your little one has to go through that. When our kids were still in foster care, the birth mom would do similar things, thinking that if she could prove that the kids were being abused in foster care, she would get them back. So our kids were photographed and we had unnecessary inspections because of the false reports. She also accused one of the social workers of inappropriate sexual behaviors so our kids had to have yet another social worker. Oh, and she claimed ten different native American tribes. All this, yet she couldn't do what the state required, attend visits and court dates, go to drug treatment, have clean drug tests, and attend parenting classes. She didn't have any other responsibilities or even a job. If only she knew how her kids suffered, and still suffer, because of her actions!

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    1. sounds like they could be sisters! the EXCELLENT G.A.L of her other four children refused to take Baby J because she had made serious sexual allegations against him. he's a MAJ in the police department and couldn't lose his job over it. it horrible how she's hurting this boy! thanks so much for visiting my blog!

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  8. Left over burger king kids meal?? Left overs? Yeah, that's all she got for him, left overs.. You are doing an awesome job giving baby J all the love he needs!

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    1. Bethany, your encouragement means so much.

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  9. I'm so sorry. See I have no patience for stupid people, I know it's so unchristian of me. This little boy, well I think that even if he has this psycho in his life he will be o.k because he has you and your husband.

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    1. it's ok...i think god knows we're only human. i think it's unchristian of me to hope she gets busted with drugs in her possession, but i do anyway. bad. bad.

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  10. Wow :( sure feed hin all of that so she can then accuse you of giving him diabetes :( so sad. So sorry you all have to go throigh this.

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    1. right?!? thanks for visiting my blog!!

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  11. It is heartbreaking to hear that this is happening. It is infuriating tho hear that she is allowed to do such things. I'm a little concerned that the pediatrician has not reported her for medical abuse. Demanding unnessessary testing to back an unfounded claim is abusive. It also sounds a little like Munchausen by Proxy behavior. Then to turn around and "provide" a bushel of junk food as a means of nourishment makes me think she is delusional as well. Placing priority on quantity over quality. I wish you all the best and pray that things get better for Baby J and the rest of your family!

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    1. thank you so much for your prayers!

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  12. I am so sorry for what you are going through; my heart breaks for you!! My husband and I are just getting our toes wet with the foster care system and I know it is such a mess. You are a gift to this child and the stability he needs right now. I am just in shock that a pediatrician would push all of that junk food on you! That is insanity! You will definitely be in my prayers...

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    1. Jaimie. thank you so much for your encouragement. encouragement and prayer are what keeps us in the game.

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