Tuesday, December 11, 2012

this weekend our pastor...

this weekend our pastor reminded us to dress in your armor before you face the day. only thing is, i'm scared i might get mad at someone and accidentaly stab em with the sword of the spirit. i dont think jesus meant for it to be used that way.


Tuesday, December 4, 2012

let me tell you about...



let me tell you about this amazing organization called Together We Rise. I posted a photo of baby J on instgram. baby j was wearing his halloween costume (spiderman) weeks after halloween and the director of Together We Rise  saw the photo. he asked if his organization could send him a Sweet Case.

a week or so later Baby J received a box in the mail. i can't tell you the excitement he had JUST from getting mail! there were so many awesome things inside. and Baby J was CRAZY with excitement that he had friends that loved him. i love seeing his face when he feels loved.

Baby J is going through a hard time right now. no fault of his own. but he is a confused little man. i just love seeing him happy. and i love seeing him loved.

thank you Together We Rise, for helping this little guy feel loved.

If you have connection, recourses, time, and or money, they are a great organization to consider making a gift to. All of their programs focus on foster children.


Wednesday, November 28, 2012

when i pick you up...






when i pick you up, you feel heavier.
when i wrap my arm around you, you feel wider.
when i talk to you, you seem smarter.

it must be because today you're turning 5.

kaleb. the kindest boy i know. you will be someone great.


Happy Birthday

Friday, November 16, 2012

i hate when i...


i hate when i can't find the babys pacifiers! i swear when i need one there are none in sight, yet when there is one - all 8 of them show up!

so i was digging through my couch to find one. not only did i find enough sand to fill a small island, i found....

*Princess Mirror
*3 Scrabble pieces
*hot wheel
*crayon
*necklace
*school ID
*site word card
*block
*binkie
*purple hair clip
*Green thing that i have no clue what it is

what's in your couch?




Friday, November 9, 2012

my princess.




my princess. tomorrow she turns 6.
my princess can't resist pepsi.
my princess can swim like a fish.
my princess talks in her sleep.
my princess has her daddy wrapped around her finger.
my princess will never be found in shorts.
my princess wants to move to hong kong.
my princess still hopes to marry bieber.
my princess is amazing.
she was a gift given to me by god himself.

happy birthday princess stormie.

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

i dont have much...



i dont have much to say. my head is still trying to figure out what just happened. but i did feel like i owed you all an update. the bottom line is we lost. the judge ruled in her favor and the process for reunification will begin in february. 

i am not so eloquent with all this anger, but my husband says it perfectly below....

The judge did not rule in our favor but it is not his favor we seek. My God works all things for the Good. I put my hope in the God of Miracles. I claim my son on his name. #FaithOverFear



Monday, October 29, 2012

baby j's birth mom will...


baby j's birth mom will testify in court today.  although her testimony will end the trial, our lawyer believes that the judge will not make a ruling today. they believe he will provide his judgement in writing, so that means we'll have to wait a week or so for his ruling.


a few weeks ago a speaker at our church made everyone repeat this sentence...
GOD IS GOOD AT ALL TIMES

it was kinda hard for me to repeat.
god is good. yes. thats simple.

if i lose baby j will god still be good?
will god still be good at all times?
is god still good through tears? heartache? brokeness? 

i can say clearly. GOD IS GOOD AT ALL TIMES. no matter what happens today. my god had a plan all along. i didn't know it, but he has already equipped me for whatever we will hear.


Friday, October 26, 2012

my kinda way to...



my kinda way to eat pumpkin seeds.

a dash of garlic powder
a dash of fukikake 
(seaweed, salt, sesame seeds, sugar)
baked...extra crispy

oh.so.yummy.
try it.

Friday, October 5, 2012

Monday, October 1, 2012

i wanted to thank...


i wanted to thank everyone for the thoughts, prayers and love for stormie. waiting for a diagnosis is over. two weeks ago we had our suspicions confirmed. Autism. Aspergers. Auditory Processing Disorder. and her pre-existing Sensory Processing Disorder.

the funny thing is i thought i loved this girl with my whole heart but nothing can compare to the love i have for her right now.

Friday, September 28, 2012

iphone friday

i saw another blogger sharing her cell phone photos and thought i would do the same!

here is my iphone cache from the week! enjoy!

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

today. today i am in court.



today. today i am in court.
today the war begins.
state vs. birthmother

bad news. her side objected to us being in the courtroom, so we will sit our butts outside that courtroom door and every time it opens i will give a big WAVE to the judge so he knows that the safety of little boy is so important to us that we're willing to sit on an uncomfortable bench for 8 hours.
i'm bummed, but not defeated. i haven't lost yet.

here's what i need from you. i need you to sacrifice a lamb. chicken. a fish from your kids fish bowl. anything. if you dont have any animal, a prayer will do.

pray.


people testifying today
 - CPS social worker
 - her medical doctor
 - her therapist
 - CPS Psychologist
 - Military Hospital social worker

you all rock. now go find that lamb.



Thursday, August 23, 2012

we're in limbo...



we're in limbo and waiting for stormies diagnosis.

many hours of testing and lots of parent questioning. we're hoping to have some answers....
the doctors first thoughts are Autism-Asperbers with some type of attention disorder

its a very strange feeling to have a professional validate your suspicions. it's a good feeling because you now know your not crazy. and a bad feeling because now you know something is officially wrong with your baby. 

Just as I tell her always. I love you no matter what Stormie. 
no.matter.what. 

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

my nerves were finally...



my nerves were finally coming to grips with the fact that we'd know what was gonna happen with baby J on Sept 5th, THEN....the judge decided we needed two days of trial and those days would be ONE MONTH APART!!!

who does that!?!

now i have to wait till sometime in OCTOBER to know if i am keeping my son or returning him to an UNFIT DANGEROUS UNHEALTHY home. 

my mind keeps running scenarios on how things are gonna end. 

october will make his 3rd year in our home. the court seriously has no regard for the damage they are causing this kid.

ok. i'm done.

Thursday, August 16, 2012

Pintrest Do's!


since i posted the Pintrest No No's, i thought i should also post the 3 Pintrest things that i loved and turned out so cute!

Caterpillar Grapes - i used frosting and candy eyes. i had trouble getting the eyes to stay because my grapes were cold and the moisture wasn't allowing the eyes to stick well. they candy eyes might have been a little too big. none the less, they are freakin cute. 

Gum Ball Centerpiece - i purchased a container of gum balls from walmart ($8) and it filled 1.5 jars. The jars were also purchased from walmart ($5).  i tied a bundle of balloons to the container as well. definitely a must do!


Birthday Face Cupcakes - these by far are the cutest things ever and i know i will make them again! i made the image in photoshop and printed them at costco, after i glued them to a toothpick. i also added a cute little pom pom, i couldn't resist.


Tuesday, July 31, 2012

stormie is different


stormie is different.
i know this.
i know she's different.
she's corky. little impulse control, has trouble reading social cues and is still working on her speech.
i dont like that other kids are starting to figure it out.

they're being mean. and it breaks my TINY heart in a million pieces to watch it. it makes me cry like a baby.
pray. pray that by the end of 1st grade i have not gotten into a fight with every 1st grader.
pray. pray that the little girls in dance will give her grace.

Monday, July 30, 2012

Pintrest NoNo

for my son's 1st birthday i wanted to make these awesome Cotton Candy Ice Cream Cones that i found on pintrest.


So i did. they came out awesome and so cute....right?


but the problem is...i made them the night before...in hawaii. where humidity is king. and this was my end result...do you see the cotton candy? no. thats because the humidity shrunk it to a tiny ball. i had to remake them all minutes before the party...

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

today my littlest love...


today my littlest love turns one. for some reason it's 10 times sadder knowing he is our last (i think).

although he loves his daddy more than me, i will not quit my fight for the number one position. i love this little man to the moon and back. there is not enough space in my heart for all the happiness he brings me.

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

i dont like military...


i dont like military wives. they love me and leave me all the time!!! does that 3 exclamation point tell you how angry i am!? the junk part of being friends with military families is they will eventually leave....

just like the cromarties...
just like the mccafees....
just like the erpeldings...
and NOW the Medrano's!

you know them by now...remember their handsome baby Nacho...?

its so difficult to make new friends once you get older, so its twice as hard to let them go! i am so so sad i am losing a great friend. and sadder my kids are losing great friends. can't wait to visit you in the mainland. thank for letting me take photos of your princess one last time!



Tuesday, June 19, 2012

dirtiest man in the world...

Dirtiest Man In The World


The thought of a towel and some soap makes me howl,


And when people have something to tell me
They don't come and tell it - they just stand back and yell it.






I think they're afraid they might smell me.







Monday, June 4, 2012

this is the difference...



this is the difference between boys and girls.

boys build a robot with legos
girls build a bunk bed to tuck in bunny.



.

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Seriously motherhood isn't...

Seriously motherhood isn't all roses. It's poop, barf, and shouting matches with a 5 yr old diva. But everyday YOU get your butt up and make their breakfast with a half smile. Here's to you, for getting up when you hear them in the hallway and not playing dead. I'd never do that. 

Friday, May 11, 2012

one of my husbands...

One of my husbands biggest heros is geoffery Canada, founder of the harlem childrens zone. I've read several of his books and love his philosophy and hunger to educate all children.

One of the big pushes with his organization in educating poor - inner city kids, is creating a culture of college. this is something that we've adapted in our own home for our kids. we talk about college all the time. It is a natural step after high school.

i know my children dont live in the ghetto. i know my children aren't poor. i know my children have college educated parents. BUT it wasn't always this way. i grew up poor. i had no college educated people in my family or around me. this is my way of ensuring my children will continue to break the cycle of poverty. this is my way of ensuring that they are empowered. 


here is a video of goeffery speaking about culture of college!

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

i know you all love...


i know you all love easy recipes. and so do i. so thats all i post.

and i love pillsbury crescent rolls...so here's another one for you to try! these were a hit at the party i took them to.

pillsbury chicken ranch rolls!

1 block softened cream cheese
1 roasted costco chicken (shredded)
1 pack of Ranch seasoning
2 handfuls of shredded cheese
salt and pepper to taste.

roll out the crescent rolls and place a generous scoop of the mixture at the bottom of the dough. Roll. place in the over at 350 degrees for 20 minutes.

Thursday, May 3, 2012

within three days...


within three days you have clapped your hands, stood up (twice), learned how to receive the ball and roll it back, AND took your first swim underwater! 

next thing you know you'll be heading to kindergarten, entering a surfing competition and receiving a medical degree from Stanford. GO CARDINALS!



Tuesday, May 1, 2012

i hate wearing the...




i hate wearing the ergo after my husband wears it. it's a SICK reminder that his waist is half the size of mine.

on the other hand i love it because all my babies love it.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

today my baby j is...




today, my baby j is 3 years old. i guess he's not so baby anymore.

baby j loves when i call him handsome.
baby j dreams of being shark boy when he grows up.
baby j loves food more than anything in the whole world.
baby j is praying for a pair of cowboy boots for his birthday.

baby j. i couldnt imagine our family without you. your right where you belong. i will fight till the end for your safety. your future. FOR YOU.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

i hope my kids...








i hope my kids are never smart enough to make the honor roll. then i'd be forced to put that horrendous sticker on my car.

if they brought one like this home, it would be up in no time!


.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

a sergeant first class, dressed...



A Sergeant First Class, dressed in his best, approached my door. my arms filled with goose bumps, because it was a scene i had witnessed many times in the movies.

He was here to bring the awful news that stormies biological father had died.

I am still stunned and saddened. I am sad for her. That she will never get to meet him. I'm sad that he took stories of his life and family that we will never know.

We hadnt seen him since stormie was a year and a half. But i would keep tabs on him through myspace, so i always knew where he was stationed and when he was deployed.

My promise to her is to make sure she knows he adored her. His face lit up when he held her. I will repeat his stories of growing up on a farm and riding bulls. My promise to her is to let her know he served his country from the day he turned 18, fought in 2 wars and had been deployed 3 times. My promise to her is to let her know he wanted her. she was not an accident. She was loved by him from the moment they met.

my promise to him is to love her with an overflowing love. forever.

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

I was talking to baby J's...

.



I was talking to baby J's social worker on the phone and kaleb asked who I was talking to.
When I told him he said, "social workers help kids who don't have family right?"

"Right kaleb, that's some of what they do."

"baby j already has a family. Why do they need to help him?"

hhhmmmmmmm....how DO you explain "the system is screwed up" to a 4 year old?



.

Friday, March 23, 2012

It is a very dangerous...

It is a very dangerous situation for one to be crazy and smart. That's what we were up against in court today.
Knowing that she (birthmother) can postpone trial for termination of parental rights by naming a potential father, she went ahead with that idea and asked the court to add two more names to the list of ALREADY three potential fathers! Now the court must publish and seek finding the new possible fathers....moving our trial all the way to SEPTEMBER!!

yes folks by that time baby j who is now ending toddlerhood will be approaching senior hood!!

On a good note visits have been decreased, which is enough good news to hold me over, I guess.

please do me a favor and pray for baby r, 10 months, who is currently in her care. it has been brought out that birth mom is on several opiates, which means this baby is addicted to several opiates, via breast milk.

it upsets me that CPS didn't want to know this information because then they'd have to do something about it.

ok I'm gonna zip it now.

Friday, March 16, 2012

for valentines day i bought...


for valentines day i bought my hubby a new shirt.

i loved it immediately because i had never seen the design, and i thought hubby would like it too...

but he didnt. he pretends he does. but he doesn't. he can't fool me.

i dont know too edgy? not politically correct?

mainlanders: the man at the end of the shirt is King Kamehameha.

Monday, March 5, 2012

as we walked up...



as we walked up to the Kroc Center facility, my daughter gazed at the GIANT beautiful cross they have on the very top of the building.

Stormie - mom. look. it's the letter T.
Me - No storm. thats the cross that jesus died on.
Stormie - HE DIED?? OH NO.
Me - yes. but dont worry, remember he rose from the dead and went to heaven?
Stormie - OH MY GOSH. he does magic AND he does jesus?

again. i am speechless.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

i almost forgot to...


i almost forgot to share this image with the blogging world.

i walked into my daughters room and she was playing with her new dollhouse...well it almost looks like she was setting up a scene from a frat house party.

kids.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

I can't believe my...


I can't believe my mom bought my daughter a Justin Bieber toothbrush.

This is the same lady who swore I'd end up in hell if I ever listened to anything other than a hymn.

This is the same lady, that at a mention of a boys name, spouted off...IT'S NOT THAT I DONT TRUST YOU...I DONT TRUST THE DEVIL.

who is this lady? and where was she when i was growing up?

oh. and by the way...you better believe i'm gonna use that line on my daughter as soon as she mentions dating.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

i get into some battles...


i get into some battles with my daughter. by the way - she's a newly minted 5 years old. at some point one of us has to grow up and act like the adult.

I don't care that I'm not your best friend anymore...I'm rubber your glue...whatever you say bounces off of me and sticks back to you - so there!

I'm guessing it's me...

Monday, January 9, 2012

faith is much easier...


Faith is much easier to talk, faith is very difficult to walk.

It's easier to be faithful when things are going my way.

These are things I'm noticing within myself as my chances of keeping baby j diminish.

I am not faithless.

I know gods will, will prevail. the thing is, i'm not sure gods will and what i want to be gods will are the same thing...