when i became pregnant with kaleb, i was skeptical that god only ALLOWED me to get pregnant because he was planning on taking stormie away from me. stormie was not legally ours at the time. i felt my emotions teetering on happiness and sadness. it was especially difficult after giving birth and talking myself out of the hole of post-partum that traps many women.
my god gave me kaleb and stormie - for keeps.
now that i'm pregnant again, i got scared again. that god was allowing me to get pregnant so he can remove baby j. that was just for a second, then i remembered that god already showed me who is was. a god of miracles. i started breathing again. trusting in him. and remembering that ALL these kids are HIS first and mine second.