for valentines day i bought...

for valentines day i bought my hubby a new shirt.

i loved it immediately because i had never seen the design, and i thought hubby would like it too...

but he didnt. he pretends he does. but he doesn't. he can't fool me.

i dont know too edgy? not politically correct?

mainlanders: the man at the end of the shirt is King Kamehameha.

as we walked up...

photo source

as we walked up to the Kroc Center facility, my daughter gazed at the GIANT beautiful cross they have on the very top of the building.

Stormie - mom. look. it's the letter T.

Me - No storm. thats the cross that jesus died on.

Stormie - HE DIED?? OH NO.

Me - yes. but dont worry, remember he rose from the dead and went to heaven?

Stormie - OH MY GOSH. he does magic AND he does jesus?

again. i am speechless.

i almost forgot to...

i almost forgot to share this image with the blogging world.

i walked into my daughters room and she was playing with her new dollhouse...well it almost looks like she was setting up a scene from a frat house party.

kids.

I can't believe my...

I can't believe my mom bought my daughter a Justin Bieber toothbrush.

This is the same lady who swore I'd end up in hell if I ever listened to anything other than a hymn.

This is the same lady, that at a mention of a boys name, spouted off...IT'S NOT THAT I DONT TRUST YOU...I DONT TRUST THE DEVIL.

who is this lady? and where was she when i was growing up?

oh. and by the way...you better believe i'm gonna use that line on my daughter as soon as she mentions dating.

i get into some battles...

i get into some battles with my daughter. by the way - she's a newly minted 5 years old. at some point one of us has to grow up and act like the adult.

I don't care that I'm not your best friend anymore...I'm rubber your glue...whatever you say bounces off of me and sticks back to you - so there!

I'm guessing it's me...

faith is much easier...

Faith is much easier to talk, faith is very difficult to walk.

It's easier to be faithful when things are going my way.

These are things I'm noticing within myself as my chances of keeping baby j diminish.

I am not faithless.

I know gods will, will prevail. the thing is, i'm not sure gods will and what i want to be gods will are the same thing...

Court sucked yesterday.

Court sucked yesterday. Even with the tremendous amount of lies she's spewing out, it wasn't even discussed in court!

CPS asked for a continuance. What a surprise. This boy has been in foster care for 2 years 6 months and 9 days and nothing has fricken changed. This boy needs a forever family. I am already starting to see his confusion and behaviors change after a visit. Don't they know how badly an attachment disorder will mess him up? Do they even care?

So. What did happen yesterday? CPS thinks we have no chance of winning if we went to trial. So they recommended we go to mediating with her. That's right...they want us to kiss her but and bargain for a baby.

I'm not happy.

but before i end angry. please know i feel your prayers. its the only thing that keeps me from going nuts. i could not do this alone.